December 2011
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apparently 2 A’s and 2 B+’s equals a 3.65 GPA.
So I bust...
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Difference between normal people and me:
Normal people when they know someone likes them:
Me :
“Why?”
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kanye--north asked: MISSION HALF ACCOMPLISHED.
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Him
WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DUMBASS I SPENT AN HOUR AND A HALF GETTING READY AND YOU GO TO A MALL IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
You obviously don’t want to get laid.
I’m going to sushi with my bestie now an attempt to not want to punch you
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mon père
went to the cemetery with my dad to avoid my mom being mad at me this delightful christmas morning. actually was very nice to spend some time together. he told me old stories. maybe christmas will turn out okay.
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I don’t understand why I pay $8.99 a month to have hulu plus yet I still...
– my inquiring mind.
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kanye--north asked: because of you i am now obsessed with garters and tights.
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I feel guilty that my mother always instinctively knows when something is wrong...
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damn you, boy.
he is literally driving me insane. I don’t know what we are this is ridiculous.
My mother came home early yesterday. Interrupted some shit.
My family is fighting all the time, as usual.
I just want a lot of quiet, a lot of time spent in my bed, and a lot of sex.
Is that really too much to ask for these days?
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he’s coming over tomorrow. my parents are gone. this is four months in the...
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just need to take a moment to say that this entire 20 page paper has been...
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text him something witty and self deprecating
– one roommate’s advice to another
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him
what we say:
him: I've never had something like this happen to me.
me: join the club. I don't know what happened.
him: how did this happen to us?
me: it wasn't supposed to be like this. you started it. you got emotional. we were supposed to stay casual.
him: no, you started it with the girly stuff.
me: bullshit, you started with the feelings, I didn't want this.
him: it's not my fault, it's yours
me: it's definitely not my fault. this is all your fault.
etc.
what we mean:
him: I love you.
me: I love you too.
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Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler all just appeared on the...
– SNL
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